Hello, Hello.

And so here we are again. A new beginning, a new perspective. Evolving again. My world seems to be getting smaller though, the same people, the same old histories churned up anew. The same things irritate and spite me as they did years ago. Painful conclusions I've shied away from and continue to do so look me in the eye and I have to accept them at some point.

Others embrace these concepts. Using people, for example. For goods. To fill an emotional void regardless of identity. This is a concept that has always disturbed me. Yet those who embrace it flourish, those who sacrifice their morality for the abuse of psychology tend to do better then those who are honest. And so I must ask myself the root of these things, what it means in a world where the openly wicked succeed and those tied by their morality fail. That there are no rules, only levels and methods of survival, some more precarious then others. It is a disturbing thing, not a nice thing, to wake up to the fact that there are no rules, there have never been any rules.

I am trying not to become bitter towards those closest to me but I am so disappointed in them and myself, but I am the only thing that can change and it's time for that. I have become bitter. I have become cold. I standoffish cling to my beliefs and values that no one can fulfill and grow cold in my resentment towards all who can't satisfy them. I suppose we'll see where I grow from here.

It is time for something new, an awakening, an opening.

On verra.