What a night.

So.

I park to go to a party, this woman in an SUV parks across the street and glares at us. As she comes out, Nigel asks her if she happens to have an extra cigarette. She replies no and then asks if we can happen to "move our fucking car." Nigel says no, sorry. She then flips the fuck out and calls us drunk assholes. I tell her I don't drink.

She responds by calling us all sorts of nasty names, to which I replied that she's a fucking bitch and she can go choke on a dick. She says she's going to go get her husband. I tell her she's a twat. She goes inside.

I check back on my car 5 minutes later and the husband starts knocking on the window of their house. I tell nigel not to look at him. Nigel waves to them. The man emerges from the house with a golf club and runs at us saying "THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASSES YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS."

He hits the hood of my car with the golf club, causing a small dent.
This is a mistake.

I pull out my Bersa Thunder .380 and chamber a round, commenting "Back the fuck off, motherfucker. Back off right fucking now. Get the fuck away from my car."


The man runs back into the yard, but the woman freaks out and demands I shoot her. I tell her she's a dumb cunt and tell Nigel to get in the car. They scramble to try to get my licence plate. As I shut my door to drive off, I tell them:

"You two are fucking lucky."

Then, we drive seven blocks, call the police, file a report, and had them arrested.


End of night.